Male Rape and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Imagine a 10,000 piece jigsaw complete with a picture and then a tornado comes along and rips it apart, the pieces scattered and the picture lost. Imagine that jigsaw falling back to earth in some kind of order and then joining back up, not quite right but near enough. Great, got it, easy.

Now imagine that just when you thought all was ‘okay’ then a storm came along at force 10 and it kept blowing for 16 years, the pieces of the jigsaw lost to the far corners of the world. No picture and no edges to work with after the storm suddenly stopped. Imagine the jigsaw being rebuilt with no picture and no order until it finally came together and I finally got those edges years later. This is my life and my world and my journey. This is going to be my story to share with the purpose of helping one person find shelter from the storm.

The ‘storm’ I refer to was in fact Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I had suffered this in silence for 16 years. I have now decided to make a stand and break the cycle of silence surrounding my trauma. I was the victim of a savage male rape attack at age 16. It is this almost taboo subject that I am exposing to the world in order to save one person from the hell I went through. Too many young men are killing themselves through not talking and sharing problem issues. We need to promote openness and stop this waste of human life.

I have always been or felt that something was not right and the episodes I suffered of what can only be described as madness were in fact symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder. My voices and the fantasy world I lived in became my coping strategies and thus my norm. My hatred of the world and those in it plus the self harming i did were all connected to this disorder. Given that I was 16 years old when I was raped and psychologists say after a major trauma a person should be debriefed within 48 hours or mental health issues can arise. I spent 16 years on my own with it. It is amazing what is known now and I commend anyone who has symptoms to see a professional for help. Talking it through really helps the recovery process and you can recover as I did.

I have had several major traumas in my life including childhood sexual abuse and a vicious rape in my teens. I am now sharing these with the world in the hope that by doing so then one person may find the strength and courage to make the changes that save them from what I went through.