Sex Life of Middle-Aged Men

Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times,”wrote Helen Rowland, English-American writer, 1876-1950

What Ms. Rowland missed, and dearly, is that most men, upon reaching 40, start to experience a phenomenon called andropause, the male equivalent of women’s menopause.

While women’s sexuality peaks at age 40, that of men is in steady decline. Kind of frustrating, isn’t it? It’s like searching for a tool in your toolbox to fix something, but you just couldn’t find it. You turn it upside down, empty its contents to the last nut muttering to yourself, “It’s got to be here, somewhere.”

At 40, men begin to lose their youthful power and virility, hair (or whatever is left of it) starts to thin, they begin to forget anniversaries, experience insomnia. A lot of them get cranky, tires easily and are less motivated to do anything.

They start gaining weight around the middle, and their sex life begins to look like a yellowed picture in an album that hasn’t been opened for ages.

Medically, it is called the Aging Male Syndrome (AMS). In street language, it is mid-life crisis.

It means your testosterone (male hormone) levels are not enough to drive your sex engine. You are like a half-discharged car battery. It still has enough power to turn on the parking lights but not enough to start the engine.

Some of the more obvious symptoms of mid-life crises are:

– Boredom and extreme exhaustion;
– Anxiety, irritability and propensity for anger;
– Problematic compulsions;
– Inclination for sexual affairs with younger women..

Mid-life crisis is inevitable but its unwholesome effects can be avoided or mitigated by:

Acceptance:

• Acceptance is a good balm to sooth frayed feelings over things gone sour. If things do get out of hand, try stress management.
• Get a good sleep, eat lots of “happy” foods and exercise regularly.
• Rein in your alcohol and tobacco consumption and, if you may, get back to that hobby left in the backburner due to the demands of your life.
• Anything that can keep your mind away from your woes will carry you over the hump

Giving your relationships a new life:

More than ever, men in mid-life crisis need to breathe a new life to their relationships, like:

• Discarding the past, embracing the moment and give a smile that tomorrow shall be a lot better than today;
• Spending more quality time with your spouse. My wife died more than four years ago. But the pain of losing her persists because I know that I could have done better when she was still capable of appreciating it;
• Playing and laughing with your children if they are still around. If not, give them a call or find the time to hang out with them. You may never have the chance if you do it later;
• Redefining your goals in life; do volunteer work, engage in sports or bury yourself in a hobby.

Medical consultation:

• Mid-life crisis can be difficult to handle for some. If you belong to this group, visit your doctor.
• There are currently more than half-a-dozen drugs for age-related sexual problems. You can have your doctor prescribe any of them. If you are the more adventurous type, you can drop in on any Chinese druggist. You will be surprised to find a plethora of virility-enhancing concoctions.

Mid-life crisis is essentially a mind game. Like depression, it gets you down if you let it control your thoughts. Misery is the child of over-indulgence with self.

Channel your thoughts outside of your own and you will find out that this is a big, wide world we live in with so much to explore, to learn, to get involved in, to accomplish.